vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
