dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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