i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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