This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
