i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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