don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
