Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
