So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
