You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
organizing the empties. That sober.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
