she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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