I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize