There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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