And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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