You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
