I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
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