She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
