i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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