So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
