Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
worst night to have a conscience
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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