and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
