please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Blow job season was short but glorious.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
