I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
