I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
