Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
