hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
