I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize