we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize