Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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