***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
