Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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