The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Oh god it's open bar.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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