so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
