marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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