We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
