I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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