i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
