Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
