it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
