i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
