TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
my being single is dangerous.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
