if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
