This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
