I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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