My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
