Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize