I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
