I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
