aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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