so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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