I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
