I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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