I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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