WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
