So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
