Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
