farters have to be the big spoon...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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