Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
