Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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