Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
